It's Time...

Two days ago I made a call to Maxis to cancel my sub-line. Wy Howe's sub-line. Initially I plan to see him at KLCC and walk-in to the Maxis Centre together to seperate the line, but I know that if I were to see him, I won't have the heart to let him go. I remember the time when I had to cancel my line with Raymond, we had to sign this paper that initiates the main line agrees to seperate the line with the sub. That damn paper looked like a divorce paper! That's right, a "divorce" paper. I didn't want to go through that again. Also, he agreed to terminate the line and get a new one. So, I called, and terminated it. Sigh...

And now, as I write this entry in Starbucks, I'm hearing his favourite song on air, "Do You Know (The Ping Pong Song)" by Enrique Iglesias. Sigh..How ironic...And still painful.

But it has to happen one way or another right???? It's better off this way, coz there is no more purpose we hanging on the thread like that.

It's time to let go of the burden. Guess it's about time to start moving on...

Acquainted

I was coming back from college awhile ago when I met this old childhood friend, Farzefreen, whom I knew from way back when I was in kindergarten. I remember he was sis's partner in this Spanish dance they were doing in the kinder's final year performance. Sis's costume wuz in red and yellow, and she looked sooo cute in it!!! Hehe...she looked sooo tiny and chbby on the cheeks! As for him, I forgot, but I recalled he had a good dancer's spirit.

All the while we were neighbours, but we never got to know each other better. There was once, when I was in highshool waaaay back, and there was some crushly feelings, but nothing happened. Guess it was me being the playful person I was. I'm still keeping the teddy bear he gave me on my birthday (I think). I recall, the box smelt so nice-like flowers of the freshest fragrance when he gave it to me. Its funny, how a person cannot remember the most important things, but remembers all these small special memories. That of course, implies to me.. Perhaps it was the wrapper trick, or so. Since then we have not met until today. And here we are, bumping into each other all grown up and have matured ever since that short interlude.

..Just suddenly feeling like I have grown much older since...

The traditional way...

It was a long winding road that we were walking upon. During the day, there is usually a lot of people, and a hustle and bustle of cars tailing on one another. But that night it had no one. It was just peaceful; serene. Like the road cleared just for the two of us. There were still a nice arrays of lights though, lighting through the road that night.

We were walking from the parking lot to the other end to the restaurants at the Curve. Walking back was a sweet one. We danced along the road. Randomly. He knew the movement of my body like it was at the back of his hands, twiddling me around, turning me close and then casting me away. Being quite a dancer himself, we were dancing our way to the parking lot. That, was the sweetest thing.

I am very traditional when it comes to prom. I 'm a strong advocate of having things done the traditional way, where the man would wait for the lady as she does her final touch-up, and when the man first lays eyes on the beautiful lady, he opens up a small box that he carries with him, where on the inside is a garland wrist flower, of the same kind with with the one he wears. Then he puts it on her wrist and sets out for a wonderful, romantic night.

I also believe that a special event shouldn't be revolving around the setting, the food, or the atmosphere, but it should revolve around a man and his very faithful lady, where they would slow dance at the dance floor, and he would look at her in the eyes, and whisper to her, that she looks beautiful tonight. And at that very moment, it would feel like there was no one in the room..No one, but just the man, and the lady themselves.

...And at this point now, there is no one else I would want to experience such a special event with, no one else, but him..


...And that, is the one reason, why I walked away from the prom ticketing booth that very day...

Impossible

..It has been raining the same time last night. The time now is 10.29 pm. ...tick, tock, tick, tock...I hear the raindrops colliding with the roof...

... it's a cold night tonight, just like it was last night. Only tonight, the rain is heavier. Which makes it colder. More noises. More small collision, of every drops of rain with the roof.

...tick, tock, tick, tock...

I hear the clock ticking.

Time is running fast. Don't have much time left. I plan to stay up, but don't think I can withstand the noise. The sound of the rain. The sound of pain. With every drop, brings back a flood of memories.

...Assignment is due on Friday. And I have only started my first chart. I know the journey is far. I have just lifted my first foot and I already feel like quitting.

I don't have the mood to do this. I just want to sleep. Only with sleep does the pain go away. Even if its just temporal. It suffices. For now.

This heart needs its rest.

I don't know how to finish my assignment. There is a lot of weightage on this one. 100% coursework. Yet with all the facts and weights carried on my head, there is no will for my heart to go on.

I'm stuck.

People say I look fine. But don't they know that it's just a facade??? But then again, there is no need for them to hear or see my weary emotions. It has always been me and just me. Every day now I live with a fake smile plastered on my face. At times, its genuine laughter. Just laughter. But no joke, or story, or comedy, can fix this broken heart. Not yet. Not now.

The rain just magnified. More noises now. It's impossible to stay up through the night to finish this one.

Impossible.