Life's Brief Candle

It's amazing, amazing how just half a year changes so many things, how empty promises have come to realization, when the idea of "I'll always be by your side, through good times, bad times, and everything In between" remains only as an idea, strengthening my belief yet again that there are are no such things as these two in life: never and forever. 

And it is surprising to know that it is the one that you didn't expect the most that would seem to be the most constant figure, no matter the adversities in life that come your way.

Also, that life really, is so short. We spend most of our days hiding behind the truth when sometimes, all we need is that little push, that little shade of light to make a confession. Then again, it's never easy. Words are cheap. Action speaks louder. Despite saying that, it's the words that get around more often than not. Maybe coz it's easier, it's less risky.

 

Sigh. Assumptions. 

Moulin Rouge. My second most Favourite all-time romance blockbuster in my list. Two men fighting for the love of a lady, both defiant to give in, unknowing of the fact that the greatest of them all was the sickness that bewitched her. She was dying. The strain of activities took place right up to her dying moment, then only did her lover realize, but it was too late. Too late. Sigh, such is life. 

I'm pessimistic now because I spent the last week in the hospital in and out, because a dear Uncle of mine is unwell. 

He is fighting a battle, and I'm praying harder ever day that he prevails victorious. 

I shall pray again tonight, every night, until his recovery. 

Life is short.

Really, appreciate it in the best way you know. 

Lotsa love. 

Cue the Rain by Lea Michelle

Eating packet noodles fondly reminds me of the times I had in Sheffield, surviving daily meals on simple food, yet it was very fulfilling.

I see pictures of Benjamin over at Sheffield now, and ohhhhh, how I miss plucking raspberries and lying on the cotton-soft green, green grass, running away in my imagination as I look at the space between the leaves upon the trees that reside above me.

Sighhhh..... I wish. Ohh, I really wish.

**********************************************************

It took me some time to warm up to Lea Michelle's Louder 2014 album, but I eventually did.

 

I must say, Canonball shouldn't have been her featured song.

 

I would have chosen Battlefield any day, as the tune and chorus had more body to it and I would prefer hearing this over and over again as apposed to the former.

My current favourite, Cue The Rain.

Her songs are going to be in my main playlist for this weekend.

 

It's a pity that Finn (I prefer to refer to him in his character in Glee) is not around to savour her success with her. But I'm sure that he is smiling at her from heaven. =) In fact, most of her songs in this album are very emotionally-entangled that I can hear Finn in every song that she sings. It's quite sad, really, but then again, she wouldn't have been able to relate to each word in this album in the way that she did, had she not have experienced his death and the trauma that came with it first hand. She has always been a very, very talented singer, and her life experience has only further enhanced her talent as a singer.

 

 

Sis is legally married to Ken. I took a day leave to bare witness to this beautiful creation of history. I shall have to call Ken my brother in-law from now on. Welcome Ken to the family..! Well, nothing is different actually, since you have always been so constant in our lives. But hey, I get an extra brother and that's pretty cool. =) Bought sis a little bouquet of red roses. Soooooooo pretty!!! =) Most of the pictures are in mom's phone so, sorry, can't post anything up here right now. Maybe in the near future.

********************************************************************************

 

Sighhhh, it's coming to the end of June and I am wondering what am I doing with my life. Yeap, I'm back to that state again. Ugh, this is like a seasonal vicious cycle of eczema.  

 

I need a different sort of motivation.

 

Have a good weekend all.

 

 

lotsa love.

 

 

Battlefield

So I was bored, and so I read. Blogs over blogs. Nothing interesting.

And then I remembered.

It was a blog I didn't visit in a long time. There was no reason to visit it. Until a random decision was made and I see my fingers typing on the iPad. I remember the URL address. Easy. 

Nothing much happened since. Many of the people I used to follow have stopped writing. Perhaps their interests have weared thin against the test of time, alike many things. Friendships, for one, example. And so I searched, and I stumbled upon another blog. 

I read. One post after another. Suddenly I'm sitting in the car reading, brisking through one entry to another. But what stopped me to read slowly, was a note that she wrote many years ago in which she published recently. Through the bits and pieces, I realize that she is quite similar to Me. Of course, I don't match up to anywhere near her in terms of beauty; we are oceans apart, but I do see some similarities, in terms of character. 

Perhaps that's why we loved the same man.

I read her blog. And couldn't stop reading it. 

I felt hurt, for her. 

I'm shocked, surprised, that the person I once loved so truthfully had the decency to inflict so much pain upon another person who so unrequitedly loved him. Perhaps she was willing too. He was not a difficult person to fall for.

Of course, my story with him was in another place, another time. Eons even, to say.

But he shouldn't have. I had expected better of him.

Please note, guys out there: Do not a EVER use loneliness as a reason to lead someone on, into believing that a 'spark' would come to place, especially when YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. And girls, we are so in love with the idea of being in love, that we fall in ever too quickly, possibly endangering our hearts to get sliced through the knife when things just don't work out. So we have gotta be more clever to protect our dear fragile hearts from ever being broken. 

To her, you do not know me. I do not know you either. But I feel your hurt, as you have loved him for a very long time, ever so willingly, and because I know him, a part of me feels that I know you too. Perhaps through your words, your experiences as well. It would be hard to let go, especially when loving him can be so easy, yet so difficult. I know you hoped. I can only say, that time heals everything, even a shattered heart. 

 I dedicate this to you.

 

You will be in my prayers tonight. May God heal your wounds faster with time. 

 

 

lotsa love.

Glitter in the Air

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands

Close your eyes and trusted, just trusted?

Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air

Have you ever looked at fear in the face and said, I just don't care?

I have always, always adored Pink's music, it played a significant part in the days of teenagehood, especially those days when life was presumably a bit too difficult and the heart was very easily hurt (at that point, the working world was an unknown place). She has contributed in a way, about how I view love as a whole now. Such a powerhouse, such an influence.

It was not until I saw The Rachel Berry's Project on a Glee that I heard that song again. So easily it appealed to me. A few buttons on google and my savior, Spotify and viola, the original version by Pink.

What a masterpiece. 

A beautiful song, really.

A story about simple life experiences, a tale about finding, trying, and finally, Found. It's everyone's path, especially for the young and faint-hearted, to find, and hopefully be found. Through the lyrics, I found fulfillment.

Fulfillment, a very simple word, but brings so much of weight. 

When I first met this person, little did I realize that we would form a bond so strong, yet so lightweight, but utterly so significant. The first time I met this person, was on the 15th of April 2013. It was so simple, the remarks spoken - cold, even. No questions asked. I believe neither of us knew at all that a friendship with a warm, loving individual would gradually be formed and she would be my shoulder to lie on through think and thin. 

She is Syamala.

I have met so many people in my life, but none at all like Syamala. It was through meeting in office and sitting beside her while doing paperwork and bantering with each other and the rest of the gang did we subsequently become so close. Everything became clearer, I believe during my birthday, when we were doing Blitz in her area. There was discussion about opening a Blitz business that subsequently never came true (because everyone was too busy doing other things after that lol) but it was fun, the moment we discussed about it when everyone was in tune and so focused to get it through. Especially Simon, my dear Simon. :) Haha. 

I remember being so proud of her, when I saw her walking up the stage to get her award as The Consistent Performer during Annual Dinner, having hit her target continuously for the past 3 years. Trust me when I say, hitting the target on a quarterly basis in AstraZeneca is anyone's milestone, what more when you can consistently do it for THREE years consecutively. It was truly her moment, and we (being the noisy, awesome people that we are), all stood to give her a strong loud of applause as she made her way up the stage. I was inspired to be her at that moment. Perhaps I'll never be half as good a salesperson that she is, which is why she is such a gem to the company, but I'll always aspire to be. She sat beside me on my left, in her pretty maroon outfit looking so simple yet stunning at the same time. We had soooooo much of fun that night, dancing away until midnight, and then we adjourned to the beach to continue the night with liquor and music. I wish we could relive the moments again, I wouldn't mind re-living it and wearing my expensive blue dress all over again. :) Ahhh, the scent of good times. Priceless. 

And then there was that one time last year when I was so stressed out coz wanting to hit the sales figures so much, and I nearly gave up, really, but she sat down and assisted me on how to break it down to achieve my numbers. And thanks to her assistance, I successfully did it, and for that I will always, always be grateful. 

This year we continued to strengthen our friendship through a series of events, and the highlight of it all (so far) was when we went to Jogjakarta. It was so fun, planning with the guys. Well, actually we, the girls did most of the planning and Simon just joined the 'free' ride. Denesh did his fair bit which I totally appreciate. :) But it was good planning for sure! There was a good mix of fun, jumping off cliffs as high as 10 metres (I jumped twice, awesomeness!!!!!) and soaring through the hills of post-volcanic eruption road formed from lava in Gunung Merapi, float-riding through the caves and cliffs (where I lost dad's glasses to the waterfalls, so saaaaaaad haihh), some cheap cheap shopping (we bought souvenirs for Boss, Danial and Hyacinth too), visited the World Heritage Site, Candi Borobudur and also famous tourist spot Prambanan temple, and we did some other stuffs in between too. Ohhhh, I chose the hotel, and it was a good one!! Shahid Jogja! Highly recommended..!  *yay, pat on the back Jean! Good job!* Simon and I went for a dip for a bit at the pool one of the nights. We were too tired for gym la but well, glad it was an option. :) Breakfast also was pretty good by Jogja's standards. So Glad we hit our target, had that whole load of money, used a small part of it for the trip, and created more memories. Thank You Lord. :)

Check out this pic! My highlight of the whole journey! Summary: the feeling of elation and dumbfounded happiness! *wheeeee I can flyyyy! Oh wait, I can't omggggg!*

And there was no one else I would prefer to share the pic with than with her. :)

Through the test of time and various events, I have learnt that Syam is a person that I can depend on through think and thin, not only for good advice, but for direction when I'm lost. If ever I leave AZ, it would be the friendship with her, and the team that I would miss the most. She has become not only a good, good friend, but a guardian, a sister, and the best traveling buddy ever! :)

Thank you Lord for providing me the light to leave Hyphens and pursue this most exciting journey with AZ, and thank you for putting me in the Symbicort team. I live every day in happiness knowing that there are friends that I can count on, and I wouldn't have fit myself in a better place than that of the Symbicort team. I thank You for Syam and for the wonderful bond that we share. 

Here's some pictures of our recent gathering at Syams place. 

And for dessert it's none other than.... 

Looking forward to this coming Sunday! The creation of even more memories with the lovely family. :) 

 

Lotsa love.