Impossible

..It has been raining the same time last night. The time now is 10.29 pm. ...tick, tock, tick, tock...I hear the raindrops colliding with the roof...

... it's a cold night tonight, just like it was last night. Only tonight, the rain is heavier. Which makes it colder. More noises. More small collision, of every drops of rain with the roof.

...tick, tock, tick, tock...

I hear the clock ticking.

Time is running fast. Don't have much time left. I plan to stay up, but don't think I can withstand the noise. The sound of the rain. The sound of pain. With every drop, brings back a flood of memories.

...Assignment is due on Friday. And I have only started my first chart. I know the journey is far. I have just lifted my first foot and I already feel like quitting.

I don't have the mood to do this. I just want to sleep. Only with sleep does the pain go away. Even if its just temporal. It suffices. For now.

This heart needs its rest.

I don't know how to finish my assignment. There is a lot of weightage on this one. 100% coursework. Yet with all the facts and weights carried on my head, there is no will for my heart to go on.

I'm stuck.

People say I look fine. But don't they know that it's just a facade??? But then again, there is no need for them to hear or see my weary emotions. It has always been me and just me. Every day now I live with a fake smile plastered on my face. At times, its genuine laughter. Just laughter. But no joke, or story, or comedy, can fix this broken heart. Not yet. Not now.

The rain just magnified. More noises now. It's impossible to stay up through the night to finish this one.

Impossible.