One FULL Circle

Today the evening walk with Rocky was quiet.

Dark clouds filled the air. Was it going to rain?

Hrm..probably...but I relentlessly went for a walk anyway.

Walking session this evening seemed more quiet than usual. There was no little Kevin (my adorable little neighbour, 3 years of age who had offered to barter trade his dog with ColB before) or his brothers who would play badmintons in the evenings. Neither was there that Aunty at the back of my house with her little Chihuahua nor the Uncles who would walk their black Schnauzer and would bump into me around that time.

While I was walking down the awfully quiet path, in the midst of the silence, it started to drizzle. It was quite unusual for a Sunday evening, because usually it would be filled with different noises of TVs, sounds of laughter airing the atmosphere and what not. And then I thought of the time.

Exactly a year ago, at this time (around 7.00 pm, 05/06/2010), I departed from my family and was on my way to board the plane to the UK. I remember exactly the mixed emotions I was having, that rush of excitement for the unknown and at the same time, a little sense of inferiority for what lies ahead. A time where I had to truly be independent, to trust no one but myself, as well as the feeling of guilt for leaving when dad just underwent his cataract operation a few weeks before. I remember the tears too, which signified how strong was the bond I that had with my family, and how I was reluctant to leave, despite knowing the very green grass that lies on the other side. Oh, all the cocktails of emotions! I remember the final call on my phone, and the last words that were being spoken, and the person who spoke to me too. All of that is ingrained in my memory. I felt so lost, so alone, and those words meant so much at the time.

I remember Cha and Jon too, who were dearest darlings who came to send me off, and they took the bus to get there for me. And my dad who closed the shop because he wanted to send me off too. Everyone was there, sis, mom, bro and my two best friends. It felt like, "Awww...I'm blessed to have so many people love me.." The circle of the most important people was complete. And I thought to myself, that it's totally different for a group of friends who would be taking the same flight being sent off of by a group of mutual friends, and One person who had so many people do the same thing. The purpose magnifies, the love was shown, and the care was overwhelming. =) Guess I'm everyone's little girl. =)

That day, a year ago was very important, because it marked the start of a very significant change in my life. I came back being a totally different person, be it perception, values and beliefs. Just a short duration of four months did all that, and for that, I have the Lord to be thankful for. I remember grieving the fact (on a daily basis) when daddy decided to dump me into TARC despite having other options; I remember choosing to be insignificant because of the language barrier, and all those little things in between that had happened in college, but then again, if daddy didn't dump me there, would I have taken that journey??? No I wouldn't. And for that I love my daddy even more for knowing what's best for me.

Looking back at the passing year brings back an awful lot of memories, above all Hope. I guess everyone who went with me had it with them. Hope for betterment, hope for happiness, hope for sweet memories, hope for something special. The 9 of us were closer than we ever were before, and whenever I think of Sheff, I'd recall the days where we ate dinner together, like we were family. In fact, we were family, coz we have only gotten each other to rely on in a foreign land, oh so far far away from home. I will remember the other 8 of them very much, and well, don't know why but the one person who emerges in my memory as the most outstanding would be Yi Foong.. Maybe because he always cooked for us homely dishes, had this big bed that 9 of us would try to squeeze in at times while hanging out at his crib and well, he has this really endearing smile that it that lights up the whole room. Hehehe...

There were certain things I had a tinge in my heart for not doing though, like meeting an old friend from Scotland. It would have been so much fun to have relived the times when that friend and I would chill over a bottle of Scotch Whisky, or even just plain lemon juice, while bantering, teasing and recalling the moments of yesteryear, the same way we did back here in Malaysia, at my place and laughing at how silly we were. That seemed too long ago, but hey, there's always hope for the future. =)

Well, now it has come into one full circle, with a new year, a new batch of summer program students and a new adventure. I wonder who is living in my room right now, D321A, =) overlooking the pretty landmark of St. Mary Church. It's a pretty room, with a very pretty view of the sunrise. I remember staying up the whole night once to complete an assignment, and was grateful because I got to see it, just once, which was why it was just so pretty.

Realise how many times I mention the word 'grateful'? Well, it's because there was really THAT much to be grateful for, Grateful for the things I had, the things I didn't have, and Grateful for the things that worked out and didn't. Grateful for what I had learnt, for what had shaped me, and for taking everything as I venture into other phases of my life. Just like what Peter Pan said, "To Live, is an awfully big adventure!"

Bon Voyage to those embarking on this very memorable journey. I'm sure it would be an awesome one for each and every one of them... =)

Cheers!

Lotsa love.