..Re-opening The Old box..

Stayed at home for the weekend to recover my exhausted and sore throat.

Been on three courses of antibiotics and medications already. Now my body is immune to everything. 

I'm defenseless, and my body ain't recovering either.

How did I become so weak???? My throat still hurts, terribly.

Sigh....

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Cleaned my humble little pink room, too many stuffs, really.

Stumbled upon some stuffs that was totally forgotten.

Some still looked pretty, some looked withered and old.

Found some wrappers which held some very lovely flowers in the past. The flowers have been thrown away, but just didn't have the heart to throw the wrapper.

It was a hand-made bouquet after all. Comprised of 6 flowers, two red roses, two whites, and two pinks. How I still can remember? 

My first and only hand made bouquet of roses.

Took a long look at it......

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Found some other notes.

Christmas cards, apology notes, "I'm Sorry"cards, and Christmas pictures, taken a very long time ago.

Trying to figure out what the apology card was for, forgotten.

In the picture, I looked so thin. And old. With curly hair. Yuck. Surprised by how much fats I've gained over the years, I've decided to stick the pictures on my closet door, maybe it would inspire me to shrink back to size 0-2. Fat chance. Haha.

Didn't have a picture alone. He was in most of it.

Damn.

There was a watch. J. Bovier. My gift. Where the hell did I put it???? I searched for awhile. And then gave up. 


My Guess watch has almost reached the end of its timeline. Will need to search for that one again soon.


But if I ever manage to find it, do I really want to wear it???


That's another question.

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Looked back at the wrapper. Still didn't have the heart to throw. 

Took it, folded it, put it inside one of the envelopes, and kept it in the smallest bag I could find.

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But that's the problem, if my whole room was the space I have in my heart, then there is only that much of space to accommodate that amount of memories and things that has been and yet to come.

New things come, new memories made, old things wither, become older, less significant and eventually forgotten.

No matter how you try to remember, keep it at the most cornerstone of the heart, it just doesn't retain its significance anymore.

If that's true, what truth does "You will always have a special place in my heart" hold?????

People change. We evolve. 

Things that are important to us today may not be important to us anymore tomorrow.

That's how sudden or gradual things can consequently become.

Nothing is certain.

Only death.

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That is why I hate to clean my room sometimes. 

Don't want to dig out stuffs, don't want to be reminded of the old stuffs, don't wanna see old notes, letters, old promises. 

Until it gets too much. Too messy.

And that day, happens to be today.

***sigh***

...Perhaps Ill throw the wrapper away some day, when the space gets too congested and there is no more room left for 'the old'..

Until then..

lotsa love.