Randomness.
It's two thirty in the morning.
And these are the things cropped up in my mind right now.
1. I realised how fast things can change. One moment you're close and the next thing you know, you're not. Perhaps is the way of life?? It's never meant to be bittersweet all the time right?? The same reason why God created the sun and the rain. To provide balance. Where there is light, darkness lurk around the corner. Rain will come after the sun, but the sun comes back up after it rains. So we can always hope, right???
2. Work. I'm wondering which line should I be in my area of work preference. For a newly bredded fish like me, many different boats (companies) out there, comprised of big and small. And I'm wondering on which to choose. Then there is the issue on whether there is a chance for me or not. There is no pressure on me, but I'm pressuring myself out of no reason. Perhaps it's the outcome of being toooooo free??? I don't know man, seriously.
3. I wish I know how to bake more. I mean, the most I know is how to bake banana cake. And that is the easiest thing to bake compared to like, fruit cake or something. Even my banana cake is lower than decent. Sighs...I have a really nice neighbour who took some time and baked for us a some really tasty custard fruit tarts. It was something simple, but heartfelt for sure. =) It tastes nice too. =) I have nice neighbours around here, though generally, it's in the human nature to be nosy at times. Maybe because they are toooooo free as well??? Or maybe it's back to the "it's in the nature" department. I don't know again.
But I like this place. I like the neighbourhood, and love the aura that surrounds us altogether. I'd love to spend my future somewhere here, send my kids to the place where I used to study... make them as active as I was. I'm even keeping my gymnastic apparatuses for the somewhat distant future. And well, my thoughts are drifting way too far now. But it's impossible for now, since dad just broke the news to me that getting a house, or even a condo apartment in PJ would cost no less than RM 300K. Now that's one dream that's gotta go into the 'pending list' for a period. Ugh, disappointment.
4. I had a bad dream last night. The worst of all dreams. A nightmare. The feeling that I am most afraid of, of loosing someone, and it's been haunting me all day. And I don't wanna mention it to the family because it would stir up weird emotions, though mom told me that if ever we had any bad dream, its custom to bite any wood we see at first sight the moment we get up from bed, and sort of tell it out so that it won't happen. A superstitious way of the natives back in the Phils. I wonder if it works. Coz if it does I'll bite wood all day, even until I bleed.
5. My thoughts are drifting far...to a faraway, somewhat familiar place. And I do not like it.
It's two thirty in the morning.
And these are the things cropped up in my mind right now.
1. I realised how fast things can change. One moment you're close and the next thing you know, you're not. Perhaps is the way of life?? It's never meant to be bittersweet all the time right?? The same reason why God created the sun and the rain. To provide balance. Where there is light, darkness lurk around the corner. Rain will come after the sun, but the sun comes back up after it rains. So we can always hope, right???
2. Work. I'm wondering which line should I be in my area of work preference. For a newly bredded fish like me, many different boats (companies) out there, comprised of big and small. And I'm wondering on which to choose. Then there is the issue on whether there is a chance for me or not. There is no pressure on me, but I'm pressuring myself out of no reason. Perhaps it's the outcome of being toooooo free??? I don't know man, seriously.
3. I wish I know how to bake more. I mean, the most I know is how to bake banana cake. And that is the easiest thing to bake compared to like, fruit cake or something. Even my banana cake is lower than decent. Sighs...I have a really nice neighbour who took some time and baked for us a some really tasty custard fruit tarts. It was something simple, but heartfelt for sure. =) It tastes nice too. =) I have nice neighbours around here, though generally, it's in the human nature to be nosy at times. Maybe because they are toooooo free as well??? Or maybe it's back to the "it's in the nature" department. I don't know again.
But I like this place. I like the neighbourhood, and love the aura that surrounds us altogether. I'd love to spend my future somewhere here, send my kids to the place where I used to study... make them as active as I was. I'm even keeping my gymnastic apparatuses for the somewhat distant future. And well, my thoughts are drifting way too far now. But it's impossible for now, since dad just broke the news to me that getting a house, or even a condo apartment in PJ would cost no less than RM 300K. Now that's one dream that's gotta go into the 'pending list' for a period. Ugh, disappointment.
4. I had a bad dream last night. The worst of all dreams. A nightmare. The feeling that I am most afraid of, of loosing someone, and it's been haunting me all day. And I don't wanna mention it to the family because it would stir up weird emotions, though mom told me that if ever we had any bad dream, its custom to bite any wood we see at first sight the moment we get up from bed, and sort of tell it out so that it won't happen. A superstitious way of the natives back in the Phils. I wonder if it works. Coz if it does I'll bite wood all day, even until I bleed.
5. My thoughts are drifting far...to a faraway, somewhat familiar place. And I do not like it.
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