I rushed to college yesterday. I woke up in time, exactly at 8 o'clock, but yearn the fact that I had to return to my gilded cage, so I deliberately procrastinated. =P Ugh, just the thought of having to step upon the lands of TARC disgusts me, really. I think my hatred was accumulated from my past life la, to be honestly speaking. Haha.
... And so I booked my air ticket today. Using the rendered services of Etihad airlines, I'll be flying off on the 5th of June (Saturday) , at 2120, through Abu Dhabi to Manchester Airport. Sounds pretty serious eh??? Well, it does for me. Until now, it seemed so surreal to me that this is happening. I have spent the last 4 years loathing TARC and awaiting the moment where it all would end (which I did, graciously too. I mean, straight As? Wow, even I wuz startled myself), but I never took into thorough consideration wut happens beyond that (which is now).
... Everyone wuz chattering their utter excitement to spend the three months Top Up Summer Programme in the United Kingdom. And then there wuz the Europe trip; all the more reason to get adrenaline rush. I could hear sheer excitement tailed in their voices and shaded within the ways their eyes looked, like there were literally counting the days!!! There were conversations on getting new luggage, bag packs, shopping, cooking whilst we're there, etc etc etc...and gradually all the noises faded as I dwell in my own thought.
... While I was quite excited for it myself, being on my own in a foreign land, where the adoration lies in the different lifestyle and switch of taste in culture, with nature beckoning altogether, I can't help but feel a rush of sadness and terror. Sadness was because, I have always been comfortable being around the family I most love, coming home to hear their voices everyday, hear their laughter, see their faces, and just love their presence the way it is. I was even comfortable with the curfew that we set on ground rule! And terror because, now that freedom comes knocking on my door, I do not want it.
... There is nothing awaiting for me in the UK, apart from the juicy adventure, of course, but there are so many things, so many precious people that I love over here in Malaysia. Dad, Mom, Sis, and my sometimes annoying little Brother. And of course, the very few other special people. And though its only as short as 4 months, many things can happen in between. The absence of my presence will surely be felt, especially by emotional mummy, as it would for me too. And then there would be all the Sunday family outings which I would miss. Sigh...
..I know, I know, I should grow up right??? I am. Really. But hey, can't help being dad's little girl sometimes. =) Like now.
... There would be no one pulling my legs and thumping out loud voices to call me up from bed.
... I won't come home to taste dad's ever-ready cooking menu every day.
... Heck, I'll have to learn how to use a washing machine..!!!
... And there is that warm furball that I'm sure going to miss until the core of my heart, everyday when I wake up; the grins of my dearest little ColB..
... And so I booked my air ticket today. Using the rendered services of Etihad airlines, I'll be flying off on the 5th of June (Saturday) , at 2120, through Abu Dhabi to Manchester Airport. Sounds pretty serious eh??? Well, it does for me. Until now, it seemed so surreal to me that this is happening. I have spent the last 4 years loathing TARC and awaiting the moment where it all would end (which I did, graciously too. I mean, straight As? Wow, even I wuz startled myself), but I never took into thorough consideration wut happens beyond that (which is now).
... Everyone wuz chattering their utter excitement to spend the three months Top Up Summer Programme in the United Kingdom. And then there wuz the Europe trip; all the more reason to get adrenaline rush. I could hear sheer excitement tailed in their voices and shaded within the ways their eyes looked, like there were literally counting the days!!! There were conversations on getting new luggage, bag packs, shopping, cooking whilst we're there, etc etc etc...and gradually all the noises faded as I dwell in my own thought.
... While I was quite excited for it myself, being on my own in a foreign land, where the adoration lies in the different lifestyle and switch of taste in culture, with nature beckoning altogether, I can't help but feel a rush of sadness and terror. Sadness was because, I have always been comfortable being around the family I most love, coming home to hear their voices everyday, hear their laughter, see their faces, and just love their presence the way it is. I was even comfortable with the curfew that we set on ground rule! And terror because, now that freedom comes knocking on my door, I do not want it.
... There is nothing awaiting for me in the UK, apart from the juicy adventure, of course, but there are so many things, so many precious people that I love over here in Malaysia. Dad, Mom, Sis, and my sometimes annoying little Brother. And of course, the very few other special people. And though its only as short as 4 months, many things can happen in between. The absence of my presence will surely be felt, especially by emotional mummy, as it would for me too. And then there would be all the Sunday family outings which I would miss. Sigh...
..I know, I know, I should grow up right??? I am. Really. But hey, can't help being dad's little girl sometimes. =) Like now.
... There would be no one pulling my legs and thumping out loud voices to call me up from bed.
... I won't come home to taste dad's ever-ready cooking menu every day.
... Heck, I'll have to learn how to use a washing machine..!!!
... And there is that warm furball that I'm sure going to miss until the core of my heart, everyday when I wake up; the grins of my dearest little ColB..
... I'm going to miss you while I'm away...
... Will you miss me when I'm gone????
... Will you miss me when I'm gone????
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